Stop Over-Committing To Other People’s Priorities

In the past, I noticed a pattern where I would over-commit to other people’s agendas. I would say “yes” to tasks/responsibilities in order to help out my friends, family, co-workers, supervisor, etc. But then I noticed that I was doing things for other people without having time to do the things that were important for me.

What do you do when you’re being pulled in many different directions? When everyone wants a favor from you (plus all of your other responsibilities, of course)?

It can be OVERWHELMING.

If you were to say “yes” to every favor or request, you’ll be putting everyone else’s needs before your own. By pleasing everyone else,  others might continue to expect you to “save” them or to “fix” their problem. Your stress level will skyrocket and you would get burned out quick. There’s so many hours in the day and so much you can do. And where will your self-care go? Down the drain…

There is another problem. You’re teaching others how to treat you and what to expect from you based on what you allow (or don’t allow). You’re teaching others that your needs go last and that your needs don’t matter.

“But they NEED me!”

I know. It may feel good to be needed. But TRUST me…they can handle it. They won’t like it when you say “no”. Eventually, they’ll get over it and will respect you more for the limits you are setting. You know why? Because you are respecting yourself more. And if they don’t get over it? BYE! Bless them and move on.

So, what do you do?

Am I saying to decline every request? Nope. It’s OK to have discernment over which favors and requests to do.

It’s OK to decline a request if it doesn’t add value to your goals, if you don’t have time to get it done or if you simply don’t feel like doing it.

If the request is something that you enjoy doing and if you can say YES from your heart (not out of “guilt”), then DO IT. If  it aligns with your goals, DO IT.

When you agree to do something out of obligation (because you believe you “should” do it), it won’t benefit you or that other person. You will end up using a lot of time and energy without reaping the benefits.

If you’re not sure that you want to complete the request, you can always say, “Hmm…I need to think about that. I’ll let you know tomorrow (or in a few days)”.

Then, connect with your heart and ask yourself, “Is this something that I want to do? Does this light me up? Does this align with my goals and my vision? Do I realistically have the time and energy to do this?”

If the answer is “no” to these questions, you can say, “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I have other projects that I’m working on right now.”

Bottom line:

Don’t spread yourself too thin by pleasing everyone. Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty. If you agree to do something, do it because it’s coming from the heart and you enjoy doing it.

With love always,

Tania

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